Dear Dayna,

I’ve always desired to visit a lesbian bar, but I’m nervous that I am not cool enough. The way you mention it’s so incredible and fun and stunning, but i am terrified i am too introverted regarding scene. As well as basically could get myself personally to a bar, i do believe i might provide if I tried to strike on a girl. I must say I want to just go and make friends and locate a girlfriend, but my personal social stress and anxiety keeps getting in ways. Just what are ideas for a first and initial time nerdy lesbian?

– Lesbian Urkle

Dear Lesbian Urkle,

I could have the honor of offering guidance as a lesbian sex and dating author, but oh honey!
I panic my method through life
, and that means you’ve reach the right spot for assistance. Though I am a stressed girl, we still regularly go out, appear and connect. Exactly how, you ask? Follow these easy steps: Hunt gorgeous, drink and push you to ultimately talk to strangers.

First things initially:
You may need an innovative new ensemble
. I won’t lay for you —
yes, lesbian bars is generally daunting.
Indeed, the world can feel only a little cliquish. Yes, the girls tend to be hot and clothed impeccably. However know what more? Those exact same ladies tend to be human beings exactly like you and myself. They can be out to have a good time exactly like you and me.  And they’re most likely touring for sex like everyone else and me. You-know-what else?
You’ll be in the same manner cool and swaggy any time you overcome the anxiety.

Once you’ve obtained a hot new outfit (might i would suggest black colored denim jeans and a leather jacket to tackle it traditional lez sophisticated?), you have to drink. I never ever mentioned this is healthy information! I am a nightlife lez, maybe not a workout lez. Having loosens you up, lowers the inhibitions and heightens your own self-confidence. But don’t drink in excess. You imagine you have got personal anxiety today, lady? It’s absolutely nothing set alongside the crushing-chest-head-fog-panic-shame-spiral you are going to feel should you awake tomorrow maybe not recalling last night. You may have a five-drink max, hottie.

More important than ingesting has been wonderful. We always become major mean-girl-mode as a defense method based on how vulnerable I found myself feeling. I would scowl at anyone who looked at myself. We acted like I was too-good to talk to strangers. Now I am constantly cheerful and tell hi everyone else. It’s simpler and many more fun. I know it really is tempting to place your tough-babe armor on when you are feeling anxious, but being vulnerable and type is a much better method to socialize and savor your self.

Residing my personal fab existence has taught me personally a really important things: It’s not that major. Like, there’s nothing. Specially lifestyle! Life is brief. Absolutely nothing you are doing will really make a difference (okay, now the Jenny Schecter in me is coming away, slice the nihilism). In short, simply state pick it, and enjoy yourself. I believe in you. Whenever you can see me personally , arrive say hi!



Self-proclaimed dyke princess Dayna Troisi is actually proud are connect Editor at GO mag. The woman is excited about lesbian sex dates, beauty + style, and her badass bionic supply. Counsel offered in this line is supposed for informative reasons merely and really should not replace or replacement any health, or any other qualified advice or support.